Emotionless, save one. Lustless, save none.

Still Awesome.

Sad enough to say that alone I can barely light a match. But together we can burn this place down.

Wasn't the case barely a month ago. I can take on the world (though hard) while laughing hysterically. Now, I don't know. I.. need her.

I have.. changed.

I am 0.0(add as many zeroes here)1% human now.

Almost lost it when bloody C₁₉H₂₈O₂ took over and won. Briefly. A providential and timely act of vehement volition from her saved us. Saved her. From me. I only wished I was as virile. Apologies in repeat. Forgiveness given. A benign being as always. Swore, yes, swore, as in, oath, not cursing, to Perfection and myself; "This will never happen again."

Thoughts of getting rid of my- no. Then I, we, can't have kids. Hah. So, no. I.. extricate(?) the concupiscence and venereal appetite instead. For now at least. Which I never knew was possible.

Anywho, was contemplating on writing something that would irrefutably incite Mr.Cliché and Mr.Cheesy. (Read: "Aww~ So sweet~.", *melts*, et ceteras.) So, no. *Coughs* It deserves its own post *Coughs*

I'm done.
Afan.

Bigot In Jacket

Rants starts here:

If a picture is worth a thousand words. Thousands of them equals millions. Plainspoken, no one reads that much. Am I right? Of course. At least have the decency in you to put meaningful pictures. The sight of your face, with an idiot just like you by your side, in different angles are not meaningful. No. Camwhoring, as it is coined nowadays, is a plague. A word that has 'whore' in it is always a bad thing.

"But it's for keepsakes and memories. I want to remember the day I did nothing significant to this world." It's no objet d'art. Not worth it. Illusions of grandeur anyways. Nothing lasts long enough. Take of your rose-coloured glass now.

Felt an iota of "why aren't you dead?" emotion. Impertinent to prior harangue. Credits to dreaded greetings after limning and delineating of a padlock. Are you not the one expecting papers of certification and a picture of me in robe and grotesque hat accepting said papers? Die already. Everything is wrong to you. I might as well just make everything wrong.

End rant.

I now have a reason to live. Or die. Same thing. Perfection in the form of a human. A female, to be precise. No, not a *gag* girlfriend. You wouldn't understand.

"Mom, I kind of got married and forgot to tell you. Oh, I think she's pregnant." - A hilarious thought that I am so tempted to actualize. Looks involving widened eyes, raised brow, gaped mouth, stuttering utterance and repetition of "What?", is always priceless. Count me in.

I'm done.
Afan.

Rooftop, Smoke Rings and Waltz

Perfection.

I'm done.
Afan.

Women. *Sigh*

I'm here to chew gum and Spread The Awesome. And I'm out of gum.

- Guys may be flirting around all day, but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl that would least likely give him STD.

- Guys are more emotional than you think. if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer then you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try because you stayed in the kitchen longer than the others. =(

- Guys go crazy over a girl's smile because the chest isn't too far from there.

- A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you cook for.

- Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?. oh never mind." would make him pretend to care.

- If a guy tells you about his problems, listen and improve yourself. You're the cause.

- A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when they realize your existence.

- Guys love you more than you love them. And we're good liars.

- Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he's an expert.

- If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he's imitating you.

- If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's stoned.

- When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, you must have made a fucking a good sandwich.

- When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he has another girl.

- When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something like "Those can't be real."

- Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are mad confusing when they see one out of the kitchen.

- Guys would give the world for a girl that doesn't talk back.

- No guy can handle all his problems on his own. Cleaning the house, washing the clothes, cooks the food are what you're here for.

- Not all guys are rude. What the fuck? Who came up with this? What a load of crap.

- When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to talk to you, you'd better be ready to give him a royal treatment.

- Even if you dump a guy months ago you'd still be thinking about him because now you're either with a worse guy or alone.

I'm done.
Afan.

The Goddess

I can now die, and not care. My life is complete.

I'm done.
Afan.

Worse Than AIDS

Someone would rather die than be diagnosed with STD.

There are two kinds of diseases. One that kills. That's the better one. And the other doesn't. But you're better off dead. Need I say more?

A new kind of disease has been discovered. More of a plague I'd say. It's spreading rapidly. Not many even know that it exists. And the ones affected, don't even know that they have it. It doesn't even have an official name. It is able to evolve to a stronger form without warning. Only 2% of the human population is immune to it. The end of the world is near as we know it.

Lack of exposure to The Awesome. The known source for this nefarious pestilence. Though we, the unaffected, don't know why, where, how, it permeates into those unfortunate victims. If you are reading this though, there's a high probability that you are not infected.

Kids. The most vulnerable. Young and clueless. Dumb is more like it. Without proper guidance they would easily be afflicted. Blogs, gigs, concerts, clubs, parties, if you see any kid in it, they're one of them. Goths, punks, rempits, and anything analogous is also a symptom. Even cheerleaders.

Yes, cheerleaders. One of the newly discovered calamity. Those fake smiles are ugly. The over emotionality is just preposterous. And it was still tolerable when only le femmes do it. But now, guys too? It breaks my heartless heart. And that is quite a noteworthy feat.

October this year, I foresee The Disease (fancy names are belligerent) will gain new strength. KAMI the Movie would be the Unholy Provenance. Oh the downfall, the chaos, the horror. Am not vacillant to kill.

We Awesomes are vastly outnumbered. We are their hope.

I am The Cure.

I'm done.
Afan.

(tl;dr version: People doing things to look cool= I hate)

Copypasta.

Because using the word déjà vu is clichéd now. Never thought something as absurd would happen to myself. Again. Though it hasn't, it's surely building up to that.

Like always, it starts with a girl. There's always a girl. There was and now there is again. Randomly and out of nowhere gets 'close'? Done that. The girl confiding with me about everything? Check. Comes from a rich family? This is getting freaky. Overprotective mom? Coincidence, hopefully. Late night hours long phone calls? Everybody does that... right? Willing to risk so much just to see me? *gulps* And finally, this was the part that says "You're in a horror movie! Fate wants you dead for the things you have done ASAP!":

The exact same cellphone.

Well that didn't turn out to be as dramatic as I hoped it would.

I'm going tweak the story this time and we'll see how things would turn out.

And no. I would not have sex this time around. Ugh, regret is nothing but a dull blade that stabs you multiple times while oddly having a mouth that is unceasingly laughing hysterically at your face-palmed self.

*Sigh*

I'm done.
Afan.

Road Trip.

Took the car and drove. And drove. And drove. And drove. Without a destination. Without a purpose. A literal getaway. I needed one. Malaysian highway; palm oil trees, rubber trees, forests, etceteras, all way long. It was bland but it helped cleared the mind. A psuedo-hypnotic therapy. Volume of the radio constantly changed if the songs were apt.

Didn't stop, didn't rest, didn't slow down.

A sexy voice belonging to a women snapped me out of my weird but calm, zen-like state. "Warning. Insufficient fuel. Please proceed to the nearest gas station." She repeated herself 3 times before I pushed the 'OK' button.

The screen of the GPS indicates I was somewhere in a place called Skudai. To be honest I don't know where that is until I googled it. "I'm in Johor?"

Tank and stomach refilled. Next stop: A beach. Yes a, anywhere would do. Entered the euphoric state once more. But not a full one. Needed to keep an eye on the signboard.

Port Dickson. *Sigh* It'll do. The sunset was great though. Enjoy- well at least tried to enjoy every second.

Realized I didn't miss anyone. Good thing? Absolutely.

All and all, it was superb. Extemporaneous. I should do it more often. Everyone should.

I'm done.
Afan.

Get it right.

I must clarify this once again.

There is an obvious difference.

I'm not a racist.

I'm a narcissist.

A megalomaniac.

An elitist.

I maybe even have a slight God complex in me.

"Ok... but what does it mean lol?" I'm sure that's in your head now.

It means even if you're a rainbow coloured freak, if I think you're an idiot, you're an idiot. And I hate idiots. Simple as that.

Alright?

Right.

Good.

Now go away.

I'm done.
Afan.

Once again they have proven.

Nothing. Nothing that shows they are better.

It all comes down to luck. Hit the woodwork 2 times. A blatant penalty should have been given but Joey wasn't like a certain sissy diving nonce. Came the penalty and out of all the thing can happen, Terry slipped. Slipped. That's just unlucky right there.

Devastated. Utterly gutted. Heartbroken. But yet, I still can't see them as being better. Being dominant for the majority of the game was still not enough. That stroke of luck, or misfortune in this case, decided it all.

And before you pricks want to brag about winning the League too. Let me just say we missed almost half of our team for a quarter of the season because of the African Nations Cup, had a crisis with Jose being fired and all and got someone barely known thrown in to replace him, and yet you only managed to edge us by a mere 2 points margin. Champions? You're having a laugh.

Somethings are just not meant to be but if you nobheads just take off your blindfold you'll see that we're just better than you. You can't deny that. You can try but then you'll look like an obvious idiot.

I'm done.
Afan.

Looks and Lucks

Those are what matters. Those are the most important things in life. Not education. Not money. Obviously not being nice to everyone. Nope.

Anyone can make it if you have these two with you. Sometimes one of them is already adequate. To 'make it' obviously means to not fail in life.

The latter L word is actually the first one you'll have to have in your life. The irony here is, you can't just have it. You can't earn it too. You've to be blessed with it. So now take your time and ask yourself if you're blessed with it. Yes? Good. I envy you and I wish bad things will happen to you. No? Well then, it really sucks to be you and I wouldn't want to be you.

But wait, all hope is not yet lost. The other L word can save you from failing in life. And nowadays, people can actually have it instead of naturally given. But it's like cheating then. Well, you do what you have to do. If you have this in your life, naturally or not, you're definitely not screwed but it doesn't mean you're going to make it too. It depends if you know how to use it. But basically you're in the safe zone. So now I alway try to make people realize that they have it so might as well use it. And well, no people with this, no matter how bad their state of life is, they still can say "Oh well, I'm still attractive. Are you?"

So people without these 2 then... I'm sorry. There's nothing anyone can do. That's the first time I've ever been sorry. I should get rid of it. Such a disgusting feeling. People with both of these though, well, I can't say anything except be very jealous unless they're someone I know.

What do I have then? Have a look at me and go figure out yourself. One thing's for sure I'm really thankful I don't look like you.

I'm done.
Afan.

Awesome Mom.

If there's a person I wouldn't look down on, it would be my mother. After all, she did do the single most awesome thing a person can do: giving birth to me.

She, for being the mother to me, has her own way of being awesome.

I'll try and make a list of her awesomeness. Though, being the Awesome One myself, I know that awesomeness can't be measured with a mere list of facts or numbers. Only an awesome person will know how awesome another awesome person is. Awesome ain't it?

Anyways, here goes:

Awesome Deed #1: Like previously mentioned, giving birth to me. Raising me up with unconditional Awesome and yeah, love.

Awesome Deed #2: Married a rich ass and successful man because she knows that awesome people don't need to earn anything they want (though she could if she wanted to) but are given anything they want.

Awesome Deed #3: Gives anything that I want. Because she can.

Awesome Deed #4: Bails me out from anything. Because she can.

Awesome Deed #5: Able to cook anything and makes it taste awesome. Because she can.*

Awesome Deed #6: Being awesome.

(*note: I am 100% sure that nobody else is better. No, not your mom for sure. Not anyone. No I don't need to prove it. I'm always right.)

There you go. A little bit about my mother. Maybe you think I'm writing all of this because she's my mother so of course I'll write nice things about her. That's where you're wrong. She's my mother and she's more awesome than any other mother. That's why she deserves it.

Oh. I just found out that I'm writing this the day after Mother's Day. Interesting. I don't actually remember This Day or That Day simply because it's just another day but people sure just want to try to make their unawesome lives more interesting so they name those days. But I'll make an exception for my mother. So starting from next year, no I'm still not going to remember Mother's Day but there'll be a day that I shall call Awesome Day. That's for my mother and I and whoever I feel worth to celebrate with. That is if I feel like celebrating. Awesome people don't celebrate.

We are the celebration.

I'm done.
Afan.

Life of Meaning, Life of Happiness

Which one are you living in?

Those are the only choice by the way. You can't have both. Or you don't even know which life you're living? If that's the case, you're better off dead.

To have a life of happiness, one must be absolutely in the present. What's past is past and never ever look back. One mustn't think about whatever that is coming. One mustn't care. One must take whatever that is given and make the best out of it. To sum it up, the cliched phrase about "living life to the fullest" is how to live a life of happiness.

Not many can have that. It's because most of you humans are just 'programmed', for a lack of better word, to have a life of meaning. You spend all your life trying to find a meaning of your existence. You dwell in the past, not wanting to make the same mistake. And you are obsessed with the future. Trying to find something that makes your life meaningful. Something. Purpose.

Exactly. You can be happy but you don't have a purpose for living. You're just a waste of space. No contribution to anyone even yourself.

You can have a meaningful life. Fulfilling your purpose. Doing what you think you must do. Be it die for someone. Or kill for someone. Or whatever. Either way, you will completely miss out on being happy. You didn't have time for it.

Speaking of which. If you have all the time in the world, do you think you can have both of it? No. Eventually, you'll end up with neither. That will suck.

For me, I have my own way of life.

I live a life of Awesomeness.

I'm done.
Afan.

Better than sex.

It was Thursday morning. Chelsea vs Liverpool. The aggregate was 1 all. We were playing at home. I know we wont lose. But knowing those scum, I was a bit worried. They might score another Ghost Goal like they did in 05.

Whistle blows. We were absolutely owning. Essien was superb. Makalele was immense. He made Gerrard go invisible. Then it happened. Lampard, out of nothing, slides an awesome pass to Kalou who shot but The Clown saves it. Only for the ball to roll to Drogba who curves it into the net even though the angle was tight. It was just impossible but Drogba did it. "We're in the finals. Finally." We kept on owning and owning until the first half ended. "We're in the finals. Finally."

Second half. From the start I noticed we're not playing like we did in the first. For that Torres scored. Fairly. Surprisingly. "No. Just no. Come on." We tried and tried and tried but we were just unable to do it. But I still believed. Second half ends.

Extra time. "If this goes to penalty..." I didn't want to finish my thought. No. Please. Finally, Scum Hyppia tackled Ballack. Right at the edge of the box. Obvious penalty and I would've felt so fucked up if it wasn't. Lampard steps up. "Oh..." I had doubt in me. He was a superb penalty taker 2 years ago but then lately he misses them a lot. "Alright then. Go for it." Cooly sends The Clown the wrong way. "We're definitely in the finals." I got a bit teary eyed. Chelsea is just one of the rare things that can do that to me.

Second half of extra time. "Hang in there. Just hold on." Pressure was on us actually. If the scum scores again, we'll have to wait another year. Drogba relieves me by scoring another after a cross form Anelka. "I can't believe it. Finally we're in the finals." was written all over Drogba's face. "Finals. Vs Manchester United." is what I was thinking. 3-1. It's just impossible for us to lose it now. Somehow I still feel restless. I must hear the final whistle. While I was wishing and hoping, Babel scores. Cech lost focus for a split second. It's alright. So did I. Pressure came back. "We're almost there. Please."

It felt like forever. Time was somehow slowed down. Finally. The moment. Final whistle. I stared at the players and we were all thinking the same thing. "After all these years. Finally. The Finals. Champion of Champions." It was the best feeling ever. Ever. Well, that maybe because I don't feel much about anything else. Anyways, Moscow, here we come.

I'm done.
Afan.

I'm going to say this if I get the chance.

People have told me that I'm funny. What do you mean I'm funny? Like the way I talk? What? Funny how? What's funny about me? Let me understand this cause you know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fucking amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny? How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny.

Not so funny now eh?

I'm done.
Afan.

I don't do empty blogs.

*Describes day*

*Upload some pictures*

*Throw in a couple of smileys in it*

*More pictures*

Done.


*le sigh*


I'm done.
Afan.

Being a narcissist is hard.

Every single even minor and usually unnoticeable things can irk and make me cringe. To fake smiles all the time, to laugh, to look down on, to humiliate, to mock and to scoff at others takes a lot of work.

There are two possible solutions. Everyone, be at the same level as me, be better, be... perfect. Wait. I'm just going to smack my forehead now. Scratch that idea. That's actually impossible. Not the be perfect part if you know what I'm talking about.

Anyways, the other possibility is me, stop being a narcissist and get rid of the 'holier-than-thou' attitude and stoop down to everyone's level.

There should be a long pause here where I think about it.

Done thinking about it. That was the single most hilarious and absurd thing I've ever thought of in my whole entire life which resulted in me smirking. Me? Being like others? Heh.

Ergo, you others shall appreciate me for all the hard work I am doing and not only view me as jerk. Geez. Some people are just so insensitive.

I'm done.
Afan.

This is just a space waster.

It's 2.42 in the morning. Just watched Leon The Professional and The Boondock Saints. Highly recommend both. The Professional was sweet and all but Saints was what got me thinking. If I have the power to be the judge, jury, and executor, would I want to? Hell freaking yeah. Now, I think I should be given the power to do so. The human population will dramatically drop though. That's a good and a bad thing at the same time.

And just like that, I'm sleepy. Just when I was about to post something awesome. Later.

I'm done.
Afan.

I lie. A lot.

Why do people lie? Lying is fun. Lying is easy. Lying saves you. There are two kinds of lie. The good lie and the bad lie. I always tell a good lie. For me. For others. Everybody has surely lied. More than once. I have been lied to and I have damn surely lied. But now I'm awesome and I can tell if somebody's lying or not.

People lie for many reasons. Really, it can be summed up in two general categories: self preservation and position enhancement. In the former, you lie to avoid negative consequences; in the latter, you lie to gain positive consequences. Why do we lie for these things instead of using other methods? Easy: it works.

I lie to my parents. To my friends. To strangers. My life is full with lies. Simply because I want people to believe me. After all, the best part of believe is the lie. Some people wont lie though. That's just stupid. If you know you're in trouble and lying is the only way to make everything better. Then just lie. Lying is not actually wrong. Scenario 1: My friend spreads a rumour about another friend's something something. I lie and say he didn't. Friend still friends with friend and me. Friend and I think other friend is dumb. Now here comes the twist. Other friend deserved it. Scenario 2: You come home late. You say you had important stuff to do. Your parents aren't worried or mad or sad. You wont get punishment. Win and win. Case over. Unless you're dumb that is. In which you prefer punishment. Scenario 3: A killer has been sent to kill you. The killer finds you and ready to kill you. You say to the killer that you're not the person that the killer is looking for and proceed to give a random address. Random guy/girl gets killed. You, safe. Unless the killer is just bloody cruel and still kills you. That would suck. But the probability of being safe was still there right? Right.

To be a good liar though. You have to be smart. You have to be quick and you have to stay calm and have fun while you're at it. For example, your girlfriend (who is in fact cheating on you by the way) thinks that you're cheating on her (which is true). You lie and just deny the fact about it. In this case everyone would be happy with you and her both having an affair while still having a partner. No situation is better than that.

Now how can you tell if somebody is lying? I wont tell you. Or was I just lying and I'm not sure myself? Maybe. Maybe not. Lovely isn't it?

Yeah. I lie. A lot. Maybe even right now. Maybe everything I was saying were lies. Yes I am lying. Or am I? Again, lovely, beautiful. Makes me feel so damn good.

I'm done.
Afan.

Who

Usually when someone is asked the question "Who are you?", they will tell you your name. Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what they were asked was actually what kind of person they are. Not many can answer this. Simply because they don't know what kind of person they are. Thus, making the question of "Who?" void and irrelevant to a certain extent.

Who am I then? I'm a heartless vainglorious narcissistic selfish arrogant pompous 17 year old male jerk that goes by the name of Ahmad Al-Arfan but you may in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet call me Afan.

There you have it. That is why I don't like to get to know many people. They don't answer correctly. =/

Auspicious and providentially for me though, I have the sui generis ability to expose who or more specifically what kind of person a particular person is. It's not actually that hard. Even only a mere glance would suffice. The old saying goes "Never judge a book by its cover." Actually, you should. A good book wouldn't have a crappy cover. A good cover usually means a good book.
Very rarely there would be an absolute fake. This case can't be helped unless you're me.

Over the years I've found out that I can describe almost 98% of the world's population with only 2 words. Try asking me who a certain he or she is. The reply would be "An idiot."

I'm done.
Afan.