Poetic

Gatsbys American Dream.
The Horse You Rode In On.

I think I've read this book before.
Hardbound, shiny cover. Pretty colours.
But an ending that's sure to disappoint.
It's not what you'd expect when you open the box.
And all the things you'd wish you'd find, fleeting and taunting.
Colours drab and ordinary.
To the brilliant white of not knowing what's inside.

But how can I bear to behold that dream now?
That my eyes have adjusted to the concrete wall of this box that I've opened?

And I know I'm more than just a little fucked up.

But I'm trying.

To make.

My way.

Back home.

I'm done.
Afan.

Click

Here.

I'm done.
Afan.

Win

If you fuck a girl, she'll love you. If you love a girl, she'll fuck you.

I'm done.
Afan.

Awesome Facts

10 Awesome facts spawned from boredom.

#1 I'm Awesome.

#2 I have Perfection.

#3 I have an Awesome Mom.

#4 I finished a game of Solitaire in 36 seconds.

#5 I don't sleep on Saturdays.

#6 I'm always right.

#7 I'm smarter than everyone.

#8 If you're smarter than me it means you have an unfair advantage or you cheated.

#9 I'm stronger than everyone.

#10 If you're stronger than me it means you have an unfair advantage or you cheated.

#11 I can make more than 10 facts in a list of 10 Awesome facts.

#12 My tear cures AIDS and cancer. Unfortunately I never cry.

#13 When I do push-ups, I don't push myself up, I push the world down.

#14 I held off 20 men surrounding me. There were more, but only 20 came close enough.

#15 I almost killed a guy but then decided to torment him with the fact that I almost killed him.

#16 I can stand on one hand.

#18 I can stand with no hands.

#19 I can speak in any language that I want.

#20 I have the prettiest eyes.

#21 I can never be fat.

#23 I have an Oscar.

#25 I can answer anything you ask.

#26 I can run and never stop. Ever.

#28 I skipped 27.

#29 I had no emotions before 6th of September 2008.

#30 I removed a pimple by glaring at it.

#32 I can do the Kirby.

#33 I can sleep with my eyes open.

#34 I saw the twist coming.

#35 I made-up one fact.

#36 I'm the only one in the world that has my name.

#37 I never lie.

#39 I can stop smoking anytime.

#40 I froze time.

#41 I can play any instruments. Any.

#42 I have a scar under my left eye that is actually a Certification of Awesomeness from God.

#44 I know you're reading this.

#45 I can stop this list right here.

#46 I can continue the list from here.

#47 I lived in KJ.

#48 I mind-fucked a mind-fucker.

#50 I am better looking than anyone.

#51 If you're better looking than me it means you have an unfair advantage or you cheated.

#52 I met Patrick Star.

#53 I am Legendary.

#54 The next fact is true.

#55 The previous fact is false.

#56 I can cook anything.

#57 There is no fact #57.

I'm done.
Afan.

Perfect.

Other girls lean in for a kiss.

She leans in to fix my hair.

I'm done.
Afan.

Truth.

I agree, but we are a very intolerant society. "Indie" was cool for a while but now that everyone's doing it, we get sick of it. I'm even sick of the whole indie movement, mainly because it's more pretentious than anything mainstream. This happens in all generations, it's nothing new. It just seems more bothersome now because many of us are geeks and nerds. The pretentious indie crowd have invaded our turf and are using our interests and hobbies as their own. This irks us, those of us who are true geeks, who were made fun of in school, who grew up and continued to have these geeky interests and sometimes are still made fun of, who will be made fun of once the whole "geek is cool" fad dies off.

-Random Poster in Gamefaqs message board.

I'm done.
Afan.

Afan's Hour

I help the environment by switching off the lights for 12 hours from 7.00 A.M. to 7.00 P.M. Beat that.

Switching off your lights tomorrow night wouldn't mean a thing. It just shows that you're slaves to the media. "Oh look at me. I'm doing what the TV hyped about. I am certified cool. Oh yeah, I care about Earth too. Forgot about that." Then why do you still exist?

You don't become the saviour of the world by reducing the use of electricity. To really help, kill yourself. Global warming has one and only one solution: Genocide of the idiots.

My studies have shown that idiots generate 100% more heat merely from their existence. Help Earth, kill idiots. Since the world is made up of 98% of idiots, this will result in the human population to decrease to approximately 120,000,000. That's still a lot of people. But that's more than enough for humans.

So tomorrow, switch off your lights from 8.30 P.M. to 9.30 P.M to show respect to me. For I am a messiah and I have opened your eyes.

Here's the tl;dr version:

Less people=Less pollution=No global warming. Ergo, I'm a genius.

I'm done.
Afan.

Retaliation.

Reciprocation.

When will it become desuetude?

Peroration. It's in dire need.

When you espy my presumptuous physiognomy, even a vague visage, it will give you hell.

When you gander and glance in my direction, it will give you hell.

A sanguine solace?

Nonchalant. Always.

I'm done.
Afan.

Monologues of a Moron

"Aku benci sial dengan Afan tu. Tengok muka dia pun aku dah menyampah. Dengar nama dia pun buat aku sakit hati walaupun dah beberapa tahun tak jumpa dia. Aku rasa dia mesti tak ingat aku pun. Bajet je dia. Dah la hitam. Rasa nak hentak je muka dia. Aku tau mesti ramai lagi tak suka dia. Padan muka. Baik dia mati je. Tapi dia still hidup lagi. Asal takde sapa nak bunuh dia? Eh, asal aku tak bunuh dia? Pukul pun tak? Patut la aku tak puas hati. Eh takpe la. Orang lain pukul dia pun aku dah boleh puas. Hehehe. Bestnya. Padan muka kau Afan. Bodoh punya budak. Tapi asal dia masih ok je eh? Bila la orang nak pergi pukul dia ni? Argh! Menyampahnya aku. Pastu asal dia tak kisah pun semua orang benci dia? Argh! Memang menyampah! Aku takleh tengok dia happy. Dan untuk tengok dia tak happy aku pun kena tak happy sebab fikir pasal benda ni. ARGH! Aku benci Afan! Oh! Aku tahu! Aku kutuk je belakang dia dan ajak ramai-ramai untuk kutuk jugak. Mesti dia sedih sebab semua kutuk dia. Dan dalam era globalisasi kini, ada internet. Aku jumpa blog dia. Gila bajet cakap orang putih bajet gempak. Aku akan baca setiap hari sekiranya muncul peluang untuk memburukkan nama si bodoh ini. Aku kutuk kat sini dengan menggunakan nama samaran yang mengutuk dia seperti "Afan yang bodoh", "Afan yang hitam", dan lain lain. Hehehehe. Mesti dia panas hati punya la. Hahahaha. Sungguh ligat kepala otak aku. Mari ramai-ramai kita kutuk Afan yang tak guna ni."

Cute.

I'm done.
Afan.